"People generally prefer to be with people like themselves." (from Divided by Faith)
Why?
I often ask this question in my mind. Sometimes unfortunately, I ask this question out loud (I'm realizing my questioning and playing devil's advocate can be annoying).
My "why's" are often left unanswered but they usually result in a search and more thinking and more questions.
I think the simple answer to the questioning of this statement is:
We like ourselves. Usually.
We think that the way we do things is probably the best way of doing things. It is, after all, the way we've chosen...to do things. So, we want to be around people who have chosen the "best way of doing things" just like we have.
Obviously, I'm inciting a problem here. Or is there? Is it really all that bad that we like to associate with people like ourselves? This can be argued sociologically from both sides fairly strongly.
Without getting too deep into that discussion (mostly because I don't understand it that well), I would argue that we are missing out when we act completely on our "inherent" desire to be with people just like us...or as close to that as we can find (we're all pretty uniquely weird, ya know?).
But, think about this (I know I need to): We are all different. Therefore, what "way of doing things" is really the best? I mean, we all do things at least a little differently. So, maybe I could be enriched by associating with people that do things differently. The fear (that often paralyzes us) is that we may actually start to think that the "other" person's way is better and that could make us change our mind about everything we've held so tightly for so long (If we let go that easily, then maybe we weren't holding it as tightly as we thought). This leaves exploration of another's culture, beliefs, faith, and preferences as an often taboo pursuit.
So, where am I really going with this? Not so sure, except I can say that I think it is okay to hold values closely and firmly. I even think that is a very good thing. But, I believe we are beings who don't have everything exactly right and we would be better served (as people and as Christians) if we would interact (and maybe even listen) to people who are "different" than us. You don't have to sell the farm and move to the other side of the world on an issue. You may often keep the very same belief on a matter, but your perspective has been widened.
It's not natural for us to associate with the "other" (I know it's not for me). But, I'm trying to explore the good in doing just that.
6 comments:
The definition of other is quite broad. If taken in the context of other personalities, I find that most people like to mix it up a bit there. But when you go deeper and think of other when it relates to ideologies (religion, politics, sports team prefs) we start to segregate a bit more. And finally, when we move down to societal and class differences, this is where things tend to split quite evenly, unfortunately. Unless it is intentional, people of different social / economic classes will rarely interact with each other, and when they do, it is mostly utilitarian. Herein lies our problem. If we only interact with each other when we need to, we begin to pigeonhole entire classes through our limited reactions, which can cause much greater problems in life.
Here's a somewhat related article I read recently that you might enjoy. It talks about how an "elite education" is not always the best, and has its downsides when it comes to cross-class interactions.
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/su08/elite-deresiewicz.html
Kyle, These thoughts of yours are good and questions I've often asked when thinking about racial relations. I have not come to any further conclusions, but you can bet that your post will be appearing on the Barclay Bathroom Bulletin (A weekly article, which I just spontaneously named on the spot, and frankly just decided to do.) I want my guys to be asking questions like these.
You're a stud.
this is the exact thing i thought about almost daily while i was in Ireland. good thoughts.
Great thoughts Kyle,
I agree with Timmy; the context and subject matter is a large variable when we consider how much people “mix it up”. I want to jump on the sociological debate of whether Homophily, the tendency to prefer those most like you, is a good or bad thing. I think that is an essential question of culture:
Speaking culturally, the concept of homophily is both good and bad, as long as it is kept in balance. One reason I love NY is the fact that there are so many different flavors there. Cubans, Puerto Ricans, African -Americans, Euro – Americans, Taiwanese-Americans, Chinese, Bahamian, you name it, its there. It is beautiful to see the rich cultures, so the thought of these cultures diminishing in order form on similar culture is disheartening to me. There has to be some order of division in order to maintain, we can’t just “all be the same.”
The problem occurs when groups become exclusive, either by choice or by outside segregation. When there is no crossover between cultures, no exchanging of ideas and ideals, something has gone wrong.
Let’s think of the latest big blockbuster, Batman. When you go to the theater you see everyone there, doctors, lawyers, trash men, students, cashiers, contractors, stay at home mothers etc. and when you expanded out of US constrains, the world will see Batman each person in their own language. There is something essential in the story that surpasses culture (at least most) and touches something that is human not white, black, Asian and so on.
“Being similar” should not be based on like shallow cultural aspects, but rather like humanness: a human culture. Many of our divisions seem to be a problem of misplaced attention. Rather than paying attention to the fact humans love music, love to be active, have families, get sick, have a variety of emotions etc. we pay attention to skin color, clothing preference, style of speech, media preference, educational levels, occupation etc. These latter matters are truly minor in the scale of humanness.
For the Christians all differences with other Christians should be seen as minute. We have likeness in Christ. All those little things that make up various aspects of worldly culture are insignificant, Christ is all that matters.
When I think socio-economically and/or educationally, I have a fuss with homophily. Great cultural results don’t spawn from this division (other than some people thinking about their money differently or having a proletariat vs. aristocratic view of knowledge and politics. Most of these separations are based on pride. Not just of the rich, but of the middle class and the poor as well. Neither group wants to associate with the other because the other is, in some way, flawed. And there is no room for difference to be ok. When we consider ethnicity, there is at least room to say people can do the same thing (art for instance) differently, but have equal worth. I don’t think that happens here. But again, the focus is on minor differences rather that similar humanness.
Those are my thoughts (writing my thoughts make me think of more questions). I look forward to being at TU next year. We will have to continue this conversation in person. As well as start many others .
I like this one very much!
This one, as in, this post kyle
Post a Comment